Cultivating passion, standing in truth

"If you cannot cultivate your passion...and stand in your truth...how will you ever know what it is that you want? If you don't have a clear vision of what it is that you want to go after, how will you ever get there?"
~Jillian Michaels

These are some of the words I've been chewing on as of late. I first heard them in a recent podcast by Jillian Michaels as she was discussing her latest book, Unlimited. (You can find her podcasts on iTunes by searching for "The Jillian Michaels Show.") I found the phrase "stand in your truth" to be particularly gripping--compelling--as I visualized its implications. I envisioned something of a chalk outline of my body--a white outline of a hollow silhouette not unlike what you might find on a crime scene. I pictured my physical self standing within the white boundary lines, right in the very center--the core. The core representing "my truth."

I like to think of myself as generally being fairly adaptable most of the time--flexible to whatever life throws my way and willing to compromise when necessary. I won't pretend that my flexibility is always instantaneous--the rate of speed at which I am able to adapt to certain situations and circumstances can vary quite drastically. Still, it is a quality I take pride in as one of my unique gifts, and it feels good to be able to put it to good use.

What I like about this imagery of "standing in my truth" is its emphasis both on the possibility as well as the necessity of enunciating a clear and distinct "Kristy" at my very core who still remains completely visible and unchanged even as she bends and sways with the natural (and sometimes unnatural!) ebbs and flows of life. For, it is clear to me that at some point a line must be drawn such that my very adaptability does not effectually become a complete submersion of my self--the world swallowing me up completely.

Standing in your truth, for me, does not necessarily include a soap box. In fact, it likely does not include one. I tend to prefer more subversive ways of being "loud." There are some truths that are spoken most eloquently and profoundly in silence, without words.

Kindness
Grace
Empathy
Gentleness
Laughter
Love

These are the kinds of things I think I will find as I examine my deepest spaces and search for the truths that reside within. My hope is that doing a more conscious inventory of these already residential truths will ultimately help reinforce them and strengthen my resolve to continue in my latest quest:

to be more of myself
by being less of myself
by being more of myself

Yes, as a matter of fact, that does get confusing at times. But, if life were to be completely straightforward all the time, then I can't help but think something valuable would have been lost along the way.

As for cultivating my passion, some interesting new insights came to mind this evening over dinner. I considered making a list of all those things that I would want to do with my time if I suddenly had limitless hours in a day. Even before I could think literally about the items I would include on the list, I instinctively knew it was a list that would grow exponentially the moment I put my pen to the pad. Suddenly I felt an awareness of all my dreams and passions as they swelled up in my soul to a place just below the surface--energized by the mere suggestion that they might get let out to play. Wow, there really is a lot in there, I marveled momentarily. Hopes and dreams. My passions. Many of them are tucked away inside, hibernating, still stifled by the fact that there are only 24 hours on any given day and I have not yet figured out a trick to negotiating a different kind of currency in the economy of time. This thought--knowing that they are there--makes me smile. It's good to have truths and passions. It's even better to know what they are, of course! And, though I still won't be able to change the fact that there are only 24 hours in a day, not a limitless bank, the fact also remains that even a small amount of seconds or minutes or hours collected faithfully each day can metaphorically become unlimited hours when stretched over a lifetime.

There's still plenty of time to live the life I've imagined! Let's get to it!