A Lenten Journey: Love's Recovery

I've been thinking ahead to Lent, pondering what shape I would like it to take this year as I seek to deepen my spiritual life in some meaningful way that's appropriately relevant to my "now." People often give something up for Lent, as a spiritual practice reflecting sacrifice and penitence...but really the focus of this discipline is not what we "give up" but what we replace that "giving up" with. It's an exercise meant to renew our focus on our relationship with God and what that means for us in our lives.

Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday, which marks the beginning of the Lenten season. Lent is actually one of my favorite times of the liturgical church year, as it is a season that is rich in metaphors (sin and grace; brokenness and wholeness; journeying through the wilderness to the promised land; life, death and resurrection; etc.). One of the Bible verses that always comes to mind at this time of year is one that stood out to me during the first Ash Wednesday service I attended in college:

"Yet even now, says the Lord, return to me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning; rend your hearts and not your clothing. Return to the Lord, your God, for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love, and relents from punishing." ~Joel 2:12-13

"Return to me with all your heart." This is always the theme that stands out for me as I think of Lent each year. This year, rather than trying to think about what I might "give up" for Lent, I'm pondering what kinds of things I might do to actively engage this task of returning to God with all my heart. What might this look like? I just read a reflection by one of my seminary colleagues who writes about a similar contrast: Giving Up or Opening Up.

Yesterday morning on the way to work I discovered more clues to my spiritual path as I continued listening to the Indigo Girls (I'm on Disk 2 now of the 1200 Curfews album). My attention took hold as the following lyrics played:

"Oh how I wish I were a trinity
So if I lost a part of me
I'd still have two of the same to live..."

It's hard to live life fully with an open heart without continually facing threats of losing a part of yourself in the midst of the journey. To live an authentic life requires constantly risking yourself. (I've never been very good at the whole "putting up walls" thing.) I loved how these lyrics recognized the reality of this risk of loss while remaining unwavering in the desire to keep forging ahead, living life to the fullest.

"But nobody gets a lifetime rehearsal..."

Oh, God, there are definitely days on which I could really use some dress rehearsal time! But...it's not gonna happen. Thankfully there's grace in appropriate places and at pertinent times, to help minimize the bruising when we don't always get things quite right.

"As specks of dust we're universal..."

Segue to Ash Wednesday! (You are dust, and to dust you shall return...) I was beginning to see my own personal theme for this year's Lenten journey take form. I began to ponder the title of the song that was playing: "Love's Recovery." And then I heard the echoes of my favorite Lenten verse, "Return to the Lord with all your heart."

"To let this love survive would be the
Greatest gift we could give..."

I rewound the song and began to listen to it from the beginning. Tell me, Emily Saliers and Amy Ray, about this greatest gift of love. As I listened to the lyrics I heard the story of a love that weathers the storm and safely survives even as relationships fall apart all around the pair. Love's Recovery.

"Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." ~1 Corinthians 13:7

My journey this Lent is going to be a journey about Love. If there's anything I've learned through my fitness journey, it's that everything we "DO" matters. Rituals matter. Repetition matters. What we think about matters. And so, I'm reminded, that in order to surround myself with the kind of love I hope to have in my life, I need to return to the very source of that love. ("We love because he first loved us." ~1 John 4:19). Immerse myself in that love. Practice and participate in that love. And then, most importantly, share the love.