The following is an Advent meditation that I began writing several weeks ago, in a laundromat of all places. On this dawn of Christmas Eve, I return to finish the meditation as Advent draws to a close.
From December 7:
“And Mary pondered all these things in her heart…”
These are the words that set me on my voyage into Advent. They were listed as the theme for an upcoming Advent Quiet Day that is being held at the Episcopal Church at which I work.
Pondering…
In her heart…
These words described me as well. And as I was reminded of this passage from Luke, the words lifted me up out of my independent human experience and placed me in a contemplative space within a much grander story. Advent. A time of watching, waiting with expectancy, hope and wonder. Advent. It marks the beginning of the Christian church year…the four weeks leading up to Christmas and the birth of Emmanuel: God-with-us.
I like the following description of the season of Advent: “HOPE is the character of Advent…steadfast hope that Jesus is our light midst the darkness of this world. Blue is the color of Advent…the deep blue sky just as the day is dawning. The biblical texts for the Sundays in Advent are full of rich images of the kingdom that God has in mind for us.”
Advent means coming. In an historical, traditional sense, Advent celebrates the coming of Jesus, the Christ child soon to be born in a manger. In a contemporary, metaphorical context, Advent is a time for preparing our hearts for hope and love and peace to be born again in our lives.
“And let our hearts,
prepare him room.”
These are some of the things I am pondering in my heart.
Advent is marked by dark, winter days in which a small beacon of light shines, illuminating our way. The light of dawn will soon begin to illuminate the deep blue night sky.
“A light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not overcome it.”
Have you ever really paid attention to the contrast of light and darkness and recognized that in a battle of dark and light, darkness literally can never win. Light can flood the darkness and make it disappear; but with even the faintest of lights…the darker the darkness becomes, the lighter that light will glow. What a brilliant way to conquer darkness!
I am a ponderer. A processor. A heart-thinker. During this Advent time I am trying to direct my pondering in a more focused way. I am looking into my heart, trying to clear out the space, to “prepare the way of the Lord.” To make room in my heart for the future that God has planned for me. To make a home in my heart in which Christ can be born anew. To make room in my heart for love—a transformative kind of love that transcends ordinary human experience.
“For I know the plans I have for you, to give you a future with a hope.”
December 24:
It's amazing what God can do when we simply open ourselves up to following God's plans. So often we try to control things and end up getting in the way; but, when we stand back out of the way and let God go to town, then the MAGIC can really happen--God begins to unfurl the most marvelous of plans for our lives. It ends up being what we've really wanted all along, but we are no longer the ones who are standing in the way, keeping it from happening. When we invite God's plans into our lives, we do indeed receive that "future with a hope."
This week I have been incredibly moved as I bear witness to the work God has been doing in my own life. I've been receiving gifts that I've been waiting for, in some ways, my whole entire life. There are a number of events that transpired to help bring this to fruition in a concrete way, but my realization of it began with my intention of preparing my heart this Advent season--preparing my heart for hope, love and peace to be born again in my life in a fresh new way.
I attended church the second week of Advent and the theme was centered around repenting, based on the story of John the Baptist calling for us to "Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near. Prepare the way of the Lord." (Matthew 3:1-12) I recognize that it was my "repenting" that propelled me forward towards receiving these amazing new gifts in my life. To repent means to turn around. Sin is that which keeps us from being whole and being in affirmative, positive, loving relationship with God and others. Therefore, repenting involves those actions in which we "turn around" and return toward the restoration of wholeness in our lives and in our relationships.
For me, this "repenting" took on the action of a new kind of self-acceptance. I had been fighting against a very particular part of myself, until I finally recently began to recognize that this part of me is intimately connected to some of the very things I most value in myself. In my repenting, I turned from trying to escape a part of myself to embracing that very part of me in a brand new way. As a result, I have suddenly smashed through some of what had previously been the biggest obstacles in my life. Obstacles I had wrestled with for years, but found it next-to-impossible to get them to budge on my own. I can't even begin to describe how transformative this new sense of restored wholeness is for me--indeed, it directly enhances the quality of my relationships with God and with all people as I am now free to be my true self in a more complete and authentic way. Again, it's funny what amazing work God can do in our lives when we get out of the way--and, it's often what we've wanted all along, but just were going about trying to achieve it through ineffective ways. Usually I find the phrase "Let go and let God" a little sappy, but in this case I have to admit that it really fits.
Blessings to you this Christmas. May you experience the re-birth of Emmanuel, God-with-us, in a fresh new way this season. May the miracles of Christmas be unveiled in your heart in startling and concrete ways. And may you taste the kind of joy, peace, hope and love that transcend ordinary human experience.
Amen.
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