Being present in the moment

I've been sick this week. It's been quite frustrating. I just rejoined the gym and want to be working out--can't do that. I'm overwhelmed at work, and not able to function at full capacity while being sick. My enthusiasm for the new year, and all the amazing things going on in and around my life is being thwarted by the fact that I feel absolutely crappy.

I am not severely sick, by any means, but because of the timing of it, with all the crazy busy-ness of December and the holidays....and still feeling overwhelmed with a number of responsibilities at work AND at home....I've reached the level of sickness that turns into home-sickness. It's a reminder to me that I'm still somewhat in exile--my life isn't where I want it to be. I'm not living in the place I want to be living, it's not really "home" to me. I'm in bed, sick, and I want to cry like a baby and whine, "I want to go home...."

Where is home? I think it's true what they say: home is where the heart is. I think of what my heart wants, and indeed, that is the very comfort that comes to mind as I lay here in bed longing for "home."

Tomorrow I will put my eternal optimist hat back on and go back to being more-than-content with where I am in my life; but, for today I am going to let myself just be present with the sadness as I long for the home my heart desires. In the end, I think these moments are just as important in spurring ourselves towards authentic joy.